i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
