the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
