i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Randomize
