do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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