it's too hot outside to masturbate.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Randomize
