I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
where does the pee come out of this thing
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
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