I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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