Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Randomize
