Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
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