Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Randomize
