so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
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