just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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