I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Randomize
