is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
