I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
