Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
