With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
She told me I should be a condom model.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Randomize
