I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
