weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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