Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
Michael Bay diarrhea
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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