I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
