Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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