How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
