There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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