I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
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