Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Randomize