I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Randomize
