I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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