Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
