you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
i wish my penis had a tongue
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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