Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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