I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize