I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
