Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Randomize
