that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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