I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Randomize
