There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
