i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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