I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize