He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
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