i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize