the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Randomize
