Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
