Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
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