the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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