I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Randomize
