Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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