i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
