a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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