He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
