problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
