yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
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