So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Randomize
