Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Randomize
