I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
