I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
