And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Found your dick twin last night
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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