Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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