Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Randomize
