So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Randomize
