I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize