yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize