we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
