please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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