Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Randomize
