i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Randomize
