you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
