well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
NoShamevember. You game?
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Randomize
