I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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