It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Randomize
