"it" just moved
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
