yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
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