HIV tests are more positive than that guy
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
